Reverse Culture Shock: 5 Things in the Philippines That Surprised Me (+1 That Didn’t Come as a Surprise)

I can’t believe that it’s been 13 years since I’ve lived in the Philippines. Since then, a lot has changed: me as a person, and a lot within the country itself. Hence the reverse culture shock.

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What even is Reverse Culture shock?

You would assume, that if you’ve grown up with only one (or at least, the same) culture your entire life, that nothing about it can surprise you. Not even after being away from home for, say, 13 years, right?

Well, like me, you would’ve assumed wrong.

During my previous and my most recent visit to the Philippines, I got all the reverse culture shock.

But first, you might be wondering: what is “reverse” culture shock? Simply put, it’s the disorienting experience of returning home, and familiar things suddenly feel unfamiliar. It makes one feel almost a foreigner in their own country. After all, culture is constantly evolving, not just because there’s new technology, but what that technology offers: we get to see how the other side lives, in a lot more intimate (but also mundane) detail. The rapid exchange of ideas and information creates waves that eventually erode or wash away the familiar, and shape the culture into, well…something new and surprising.

But to be honest, not all the (reverse) culture shocks I experienced were necessarily new aspects about Filipino culture – some things I simply never knew or thought about as a kid, and some I’m simply not used to anymore.

I was in line to buy tickets to the Manila Ocean Park, when I turned towards my purse for cash and I just about jumped when I realized someone was just right there, practically about to breathe down my neck. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be there at all, given that the line waiting for an open cashier was in the opposite direction.

I felt extremely vulnerable, especially since I’m about to reach in my wallet for cash.

Given that pickpocketing is unfortunately a widespread issue, of course that’s where my mind went. This unknown tita’s defense was that she was just waiting her turn – but I’ve been waiting for at minimum of 5 minutes, and only approached an open cashier window when I got waved over. So either this tita hasn’t been paying attention at all to how the customers in front of us waited, simply impatient or entitled, or she cut in front of someone else by coming up to a cashier when I did.

Plus she was a senior citizen- a fact she had mentioned twice when I questioned why she was in the opposite direction of the line. Sure, it’s sometimes relevant, but not in this case. Even if Manila Ocean Park has a senior/handicap priority lane, I wasn’t on that lane. So there really was no need for her to be practically breathing down my neck.

When I go back to the Philippines, I know to expect that I’ll be rubbing elbows with everyone and their dog (apparently). After all, given the Philippines’ population density, and how cramped most houses are together, it’s to be expected. Pre-covid, standing far apart was impractical at best (or a good way to let someone cut in front of you), and rude at worst – after all, you’re “wasting” space that could be utilized.

But that one incident just surprised me and rubbed me the wrong way. While personal space is practically non-existent everywhere else in the Philippines, my usual experience (both before and after I moved) was that most people politely stood back if you’re paying for something. If not out of respect or politeness, then self-preservation: no one wants to be accused of stealing.

Honestly, I got the feeling that particular elderly tita probably just cut in line. Speaking of senior citizens…

Apparently, it’s not just a lower cost of living that attracts senior citizens far and wide to flock to the Philippines for their retirement days. Neither is it the tropical weather.

As it turns out, I’ve vastly underestimated the perks that come with senior citizenship – there I was, thinking it was mere food discounts, but nope!

Granted, the specifics are different per city, but for the most part a senior card can potentially offer discounts on dining, certain groceries, parking, and even movie tickets – sometimes, the last two are even free*.

*Of course, terms & conditions apply! For example, you might only get free parking in your own city where you’re a resident, or perhaps you only get limited hours free. As for free movie tickets, it might only apply to specific days, determined by the mall or cinema.

At least I can be forgiven for getting a reverse culture shock from this – after all, it’s not like a I had much personal or even secondhand experience with senior citizen perks, before I moved.

So apparently, malls never (or very rarely?) close in the Philippines – not even for Christmas or New Year’s. At best, their opening and closing times are different during the holiday season, but even then that’s not saying much. Because from what I heard, they have longer operating hours during the holidays.

I mean, sure, it’s great for creating hundreds (if not thousands) of jobs – plus increased income for small business owners that can capitalize on Christmas-related food, decor, and crafts. But to me it sounds insane that hundreds (if not thousands) of Filipinos are also unable to spend Christmas Day with their families. After all, it’s not so easy to take a day off if that’s what’s keeping food on the table.

This has apparently been always the case, but I didn’t learn about it until – literally – around a week before Christmas!

For the first 19 years of my life, the only way I knew how to celebrate Christmas was to spend it at home with my immediate family, followed by going to my grandparents’ house the next day to see the aunts, uncles, and cousins who were still in the country.

Rinse and repeat for both New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. On very rare occasions, we might visit both sides of the family on the same day, or consecutive days. But otherwise, we visited one side of the family on Christmas Day, and the other side a few days either before or after Christmas. The exact timing fluctuated on other family members’ availability. It never even would’ve occurred to me to ask about going to the mall – it was unfathomable to my child-self to spend Christmas not at either your own house, or a relative’s house.

This was probably the biggest reverse culture shock I’ve encountered, and it’s mainly possible in the Philippines because the cost of labor is really low. After all, there’s a reason why the country’s biggest export is labor.

Let me preface by saying: I love dogs. I would own one, if my lifestyle and living situation both align in a way that’s good for a dog. Unfortunately, neither the lifestyle I want (traveling), nor my living situation (apartment) are conducive to giving a dog a great, stable home.

With that being said, I don’t think dogs belong in all public spaces – least of all inside a restaurant. That just screams unsanitary.

No matter how many showers or how well-groomed a dog is, that’s still pet hair and dog licks right next to where food is being served and/or consumed. It’s one thing to make your pet’s hair a problem for your own family or household, but it’s another matter entirely to make that decision for all the other customers.

I wouldn’t mind so much if malls (or at least restaurants) limited dogs to outdoor areas or outdoor dining – but nope! The most memorable (and horrifying) scene I witnessed was a family’s kids petting their dogs in their stroller, then getting up to grab food at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Those same dogs were also licking the family’s dining table whenever they can.

As much as I enjoy dogs, I can’t fathom sharing a table with them. Just because they’re part of the family, doesn’t mean there’s no hierarchy or sanitation standards to uphold.

My second favorite part of living in the Philippines (first being the food, of course), is the widespread availability of delivery.

It might not sound so impressive, now that the rest of the world has had their eyes opened by Uber Eats or other similar businesses. But I’m not talking about the humble pizza delivery, or the overpriced food delivery apps (with their over-convoluted fees).

I’m talking McDonald’s pancakes & coffee delivered to your college dorm room, at around 5-6am, after pulling an all-nighter and being awake for 16+ hours going to class and doing homework.

Does that sound amazing? Because it definitely did, to an exhausted 17-year old me who was running on fumes. The sheer convenience of it was bliss, not yet counting the food itself (which I desperately needed). Thanks to 24/7 operating hours and delivery! But honestly, that’s not even the best part about delivery in the Philippines.

Nowadays, delivery in the Philippines isn’t limited to food. It can literally be anything: custom-made clothes, documents, or even a bracelet you left behind at your friend’s house after a sleepover!

Those are just examples of deliveries I’ve either received, saw, or sent through the main (non-food) delivery service, Lalamove. Previously, I had to travel at least twice (if not more) when getting custom-made clothes: once each for measurement and pick-up, not including fittings. It doesn’t sound too bad…until the infamous Philippine traffic comes into play.

It was a reverse culture shock to learn that this is now a thing in the Philippines, but at the same time, not really. As I stopped to think about it, it felt more…inevitable, I suppose. Like of course this was the natural progression of 24/7 delivery – now delivery isn’t limited to only food!

Now, instead of wasting time going back and forth and battling with traffic, pretty much anything can be delivered – for a fee, of course! But for most Filipinos, the money spent is still the better option than wasting precious time and energy stuck in traffic. Most of the drivers are on motorcycles, making it easier (and faster) to navigate through traffic. Of course, there’s also cars and even vans that could deliver furniture, suitcases, or wedding decor to your venue.

It’s not always necessary nor should it always be the first option if it can wait, but the fact that it’s an option at all is what makes it so amazing to me. After all, it’s better to have a tool that’s not always needed, than to face a time-sensitive issue without that (extremely useful and amazing) tool.

The food culture is still going strong – maybe stronger, even! The mall culture is also staying solid.

It didn’t truly hit me until my first visit after being gone for 11 years how much I missed a bustling, but most importantly, diverse food court. I’m not even talking about culturally (though we have that covered too!). I mean that there’s usually no less than 12 store options to choose food from, in most malls in the Philippines. Those are just usually the typical local and international food chains, not including small businesses, pop-up stalls, and actual sit-down restaurants.

Meanwhile Del Amo Mall, one of the largest (if not the largest) malls in California, has about 10 stalls in the main food court – not all of which are guaranteed to be occupied simultaneously. Granted, they also have a few restaurants and smaller food stalls dotted around the mall, but nowhere near the numbers of what a typical Filipino mall offers. Not to mention the snack options are mainly pretzels or hot dogs.

In retrospect, that was a culture shock I didn’t really notice at the time since I hadn’t realized it wasn’t just one American mall that has a much smaller amount of food options available, compared to what I was used to.

Meanwhile, a food court in the Philippines might offer: Filipino, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Taiwanese, Mexican, Italian, or even American food. The snack options include fish or squid balls, empanadas, rice cakes, fresh fruit smoothies, coconut juice & shake, and a variety of pastries. There’s a food and drink option for almost any craving, mood, or vibe in a Filipino food court.

It’s baffling that for all the space and convenience available in the US, I’m stuck with the same old fast-food options at the food court. I miss the variety, and the excitement of learning what different malls and their food courts have for me to discover. There’s a lot of noise about how malls are “dying” in America, and a lot of blame being thrown on online shopping. But no mall is willing to take accountability for being boring.

The malls I’ve seen in the US are largely for shopping – if it’s a nice mall, there’s probably a play area for kids. But aside from movies, there aren’t many options for pre-teens, teens, and young adults to do and most importantly, spend money on. American malls are great meeting places or starting points, but there’s not much incentive to actually stay.

As a teenager hanging out at Filipino malls, my money mostly went towards buying food and drinks, not clothes or otherwise “big-ticket” items like Sephora makeup. But if the only snack options I had available were hot dogs or pretzels, I would’ve just taken my money elsewhere – heck at that point, I would’ve just made my mom proud and gone with her advice of, “there’s food at home.”