Adjusting to Culture Shock in the US: A Filipino’s Perspective
DISCLAIMER: Now, I want to head off the complaints – ahem, comments – by saying these cultural habits are NOT bad. I’m just saying they are confusing to someone who didn’t grow up seeing this every day, hence the culture shock. These habits and unspoken social rules are so innocuous to most or all who lived here in the US all their lives, so no one thinks to – or sometimes CAN’T – explain these to outsiders.
Table of Contents
Culture Shock 1: Serving size
If you’ve only ever seen US-sized portions, I’m here to tell you that to most of us who didn’t grow up here: That’s a LOT of food. For my 1st year or 2 here, I kept having to box leftovers. Not that I ate out a lot anyway, but still.
I grew up where food was usually family style versus individual dishes.
In case you don’t know what that means, that means ordering a few different things for everyone at the table to share, and each person can get as much or as little as they need. That’s important because I was taught that if I put it on my plate, I better make sure I finish it. This way we don’t grab the whole plate, and everyone at the table who wants some gets the chance to have some.
Why is this important? While logically, I knew that I didn’t have a choice in the serving size, emotionally speaking is a different matter. Emotionally it felt like I had to finish the entire plate.
So I kept trying until eventually I could – which objectively, wasn’t a good thing. I felt stuffed and bloated pretty much any time I ate out with friends or family. I’ve since managed to undo that bad habit, but it wasn’t easy and damaged my portion control.
Culture Shock 2: Sweet tea
First thing you need to know about me: I didn’t grow up with the most traditional or sophisticated tea, for someone who grew up in Asia. I grew up on Lipton iced tea – I didn’t know there were different types of black tea until I was already here. So adding sugar to tea isn’t new or horrifying to me.
I think my first encounter was with McDonald’s sweet tea. It was disgusting, but I thought – it’s McDonald’s, why should I expect them to have good iced tea? So I looked up a recipe online, and I was shook.
Now, the second thing you need to know about me:
I have a sweet tooth, ok? I live for dessert. But even US sweet tea is a bit too sweet for my taste.
But the amount of sugar that goes into southern sweet tea? Excessive & horrifying. Glad the people who enjoy this have managed to evolve and adapt to that amount of sugar, but as for me: No, thank you!
Culture Shock 3: Burger everything, everywhere
Correct me, please, if this is just a California thing. But I feel that there’s a disproportionate amount of burgers here – whether it’s fast food, diner, restaurant, heck at HOMES. You’re telling me that Americans – or at least Southern Californians’ – main choices in outdoor dining are STILL burgers. At the time of writing this, I live close by to:
- McDonald’s
- In-n-out
- Carl’s Jr.
- Wendy’s
- Five Guys
- Denny’s
- Jack in the box
- IHOP – Ok, at least they’re a pancak-what, they ALSO have burgers???
And then – and THEN – you have the 4th of July, which is a big BBQ event.
I get it, I’m Filipino, we love BBQs, and we grill everything – from beef, chicken, and pork. Heck, we even grill and even fry quail eggs on a stick.
ANYWAY, the main American BBQ staple is – you guessed it: burgers. Or sliders, which are tiny burgers. I guess also hot dogs, for kids. When DO they graduate to burgers?
Oh, but burgers are mainly a staple outside of the “Southern” states, whatever that means since they seem to encompass a large area. I’m still unclear on how many and which states are considered “Southern.”
I too, would like to say I love burgers, but would it kill the American economy to have more variety in their takeout options???
Culture Shock 4: Shoes INSIDE the home
I’ll admit, this one I knew, but it didn’t sink in. Thankfully I’m not very friendly enough to be close to these people, but I’ve been a guest at enough houses here to know it’s a thing.
A horrible thing, in my opinion. It’s not about whether you clean your floors or not – which we still do, by the way, even though we take our outside shoes off.
It’s about all the filth you step on outside and you track everywhere in between cleanings. Cause I highly doubt most people clean every day. But you know what probably happens every day? People spitting on sidewalks, for some reason. Sidewalks you all walk on with your shoes, that you then wear inside to BEDROOMS.
I thought this was just a thing American TV shows lied about, but nope!
Culture Shock 5: Tipping
I don’t come from a tipping culture. Or at least, it isn’t something you would come to expect, though I’ve heard it’s becoming sort of a thing. From what I’ve heard, it’s along the lines of rounding up the change. For example, if they had to pay $4, they would just give $5 without asking for change.
Before the comments get flooded with angry comments, I do tip. I’m just admitting that I do it blindly, without fully understanding the “why” tipping culture.
Or at least, why it’s still in place instead of simply being paid an actual living wage – other than capitalism, I suppose? Which sounds… well… not good.
But anyway, in this one I just follow along like I did in my geometry classes – just follow the formula, or in this case, go with one of the suggested percentages at the bottom of the receipt:
Do I know the formula to get the radius of a circle? Technically not anymore, but I used to. Do I understand how and why it works? Absolutely not.
Plus there are nuances I still haven’t figured out – takeout, for example. How much makes sense if they just have to bag the food versus wait on you in the restaurant? What if I just ordered a milkshake?
No one explained the ins and outs of tipping to me. I’m pretty sure I fumbled by either not tipping enough, or maybe even tipping when it wasn’t necessary/expected.
Culture Shock 6: Small talk
Okay, so maybe this isn’t a whole-America thing and more of a West Coast thing. Or just a California thing? Either way, I lucked out on this, because as an introvert I absolutely hate small talk. Especially on the street, at bus stops, and IN THE BUS ITSELF WHERE I CAN’T POLITELY ESCAPE.
I’m smiling at your small talk because my parents raised me to be polite, but I assure you I hate every moment of it.
You don’t need to ask me how my day is going or how I am because HOPEFULLY, I will never see you again. At this point, I don’t even know how many small talk attempts were to try to hit on me, since no one has actually asked for my number on the bus.
Either they realized I wasn’t going to give them what they wanted, or they were just genuinely social or friendly. I don’t know what’s worse, to be honest. I’m leaning towards the social/friendly as the worst.
Look, public transportation can be sketchy enough. I just want to quietly and peacefully get from point A to point B. I’m not on the bus to make friends. Especially with someone who, statistically speaking, I’m unlikely to ever see again (much less give my number to).
The other people also going to my school on the same bus don’t even try to talk to each other! It’s literally just the strangers making small talk.
Ugh. Sometimes I think I should’ve moved to New York or some other place where people mind their own business.
Culture Shock 7: Credit cards
To be fair, I’m not alone in this, given how many articles and YouTube videos are out there dedicated to the “Dos and don’ts” of credit cards. I’ve even read or watched some of them since I came here.
Spoiler alert: I still don’t truly get credit scores.
I know it has to do with making sure someone is “responsible” based on how much they borrow versus how much they pay back. But for most of the world, especially in Asia, having debt is very much a Bad Thing. The caps are necessary because that’s an important fact. This was and still is, very jarring for me.
There’s a whole lot more, but honestly, I think the confusion on this one is self-explanatory.
Culture Shock 8: Sales tax
This is probably the most frustrating out of everything. I’m now able to have a rough estimate in mind when I go to pay, but why???
I know a part of it has to do with the fact that each state has different rates for sales tax, but I mean come on. It’s just ridiculous at this point. Is there no solution where we’re able to see how much an item truly is, without having to pull our phones out to do math?
At this point, I’m not sure if the problem is it’s too much work for employees to stamp or sticker a “final price” depending on county or state. For that matter, why is it even different per county? State kind of makes sense, but also per county?
Or is that the problem is most people just…don’t look at price tags when they shop???
I’ve seen so many memes from my generation & younger complaining about schools teaching “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell,” but nothing about financial literacy.
Culture Shock 9: Having a second fridge
The first time I came across this it was a little odd, but I thought, “OK, maybe they needed a bigger fridge but still didn’t want to toss out the old one if it was working fine. They just needed more space for food, and I mean, they have extra room in their garage for a second fridge. I guess that’s fine.”
And then I encountered it a second time. Then a third. Then – you know how it goes. Apparently, this is a thing.
How often do you have so much food you need 2 fridges? If you have 2 full fridges of food, chances are you won’t be able to finish it all before some or most go bad. Unless maybe you’re a family with 3 or more teenage boys.
Okay, let’s say it’s for holiday food, that’s, what, Thanksgiving to say New Year’s? Let’s be generous and say that’s only 2 months out of 12 that you actually need all that space.
I would understand if it was a deep freezer in the garage – I actually wouldn’t mind that someday, if we’re able to buy a house. But a 2nd fridge? WHY, America??
Culture Shock 10: Medicine commercials
I knew the healthcare system here was…questionable to say the least. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen a commercial for PRESCRIPTION MEDICINE in my life.
Are there competing brands for medicine? Do Americans really HAVE a preferred brand that they support over another? Will they fight their doctor if the doctor recommends a generic or a competing brand?
Do…doctors get sponsorship? Similar to how YouTubers get sponsored by Godaddy versus Squarespace???
I have… so many questions, but I have a feeling the answers are just going to give me more questions and absolutely 0 satisfaction.
So please, don’t answer this in the comments. Just know that this is a weird thing to people who didn’t grow up here.
Culture Shock 11: Car Culture – You need a car to go anywhere
As much as I hate the small talk that comes with a lot of public transport (at least on the west coast) I hate the fact that most of the time, public transportation isn’t even a truly viable option. Or at least, not an option that HAS any pros to it whatsoever, other than MAYBE being cheap.
If it takes 6 hours for public transport, versus a 2-hour drive, is it truly a choice? I don’t think so. Technically speaking, yes, public transport is an option, but WOW the discrepancy in terms of efficiency and cost can be steep (at least in Southern California).
Not to say that public transportation in the Philippines was better – but there was a bit more flexibility in options. But was it too much to hope that a so-called “first world” country could do much better than what’s currently available? Apparently, the answer is yes.
Culture Shock 12: Garage-use
You know what I saw in lower-income neighborhood streets? Cars. Their driveway? Cars.
Wanna take a wild guess at what I saw in higher-income neighborhood streets? Cars. Their driveway? Still cars.
Sometimes people would have their garage doors open, and you know what’s in there? Junk and NO cars in the garage, that’s what.
The garage is always just full of STUFF, most of it just overflow of stuff they don’t need. I’ve heard homeowners or someone in their family admit that most of the stuff in their garage is junk that should get tossed. They haven’t used or touched the majority of the stuff in years, but it’s still just sitting there.
Instead of expensive cars being protected from the elements, it’s the family junk that gets that privilege.
That protected junk includes, but isn’t limited to: old and/or broken furniture, old toys or clothes that don’t fit anymore, and that 2nd fridge that —
In conclusion,
Anyway, those were just some (but definitely not all) of the culture shocks I’ve experienced since studying & living in the US.
There were definitely more, but either I just got so used to them by now, or they didn’t make as much of an impact on me. But I still have my fingers crossed that someday, I’ll get the privilege of experiencing more culture shocks by getting to travel again!
