Creative Burnout: How being an art major KILLED my creativity
Ever get a bright idea…then immediately realize you’re wrong? I became an art major, thinking I would finally feel like I fit in & give me purpose, but I was very wrong. Instead what it gave me was creative burnout.
Table of Contents
Death of Creativity 1: Busy work
The fastest way to art major burnout is meaningless busy work. At least for me, that worked like a charm (or curse).
I’m talking about doing repetitive tasks, without getting to – or barely – the real application of the subject.
Yes, there’s a lot of background and prep work that goes into most tasks. Generally speaking, it’s better to walk before you run, and all that.
But I’m talking about wasted months on busywork that didn’t amount to anything important.
The worst offender was my web design class, which I was VERY excited to sign up for. But given that this is my very 1st point, you can imagine it was a MASSIVE disappointment.
Our 3-hour studio class was wasted on showing how good we are at following instructions. The biggest chunk of what we did for class and our homework was copying a code from the book, rather than learning what makes a good web design, and learning how to code from scratch.
We spent way too long changing the color and line thickness of the tables. It was 2017, I haven’t even seen a lot of tables outside of academic websites.
I felt that I was being taught – and treated – like a parrot, who only knows how to regurgitate the same things.
I became a copy machine, instead of an aspiring artist & designer who wanted to grow and learn new skills. All we did was work on bits & pieces that never came together to a satisfying conclusion, personally or academically.
Overall, it was over 3 months’ worth of “learning code” by copy-pasting. It wasn’t until the last 3 weeks of the semester that we actually got to code the websites we designed. In the end, when I needed to know how to code a specific part of my project, I simply typed “code for x-problem” and adapted that.
I pretty much “built” 90% of my website by doing that. The only thing I used from the class was the code for the website header. That professor didn’t even bother teaching how to code a gallery and a lightbox to an entire class of art students looking to create a portfolio website. A plan which all of us expressed we wanted to do at the start of the semester.
Even just remembering that class (and that useless professor) fills me with rage.
Death of Creativity 2: Bad project management
My previous example using the web design class I took also smacked of having a bad lesson pacing. Given how slow-going it was, that makes it a double offender so far. However, the opposite, which is going too fast is also bad news for creativity.
Now, when I say too fast, I don’t mean procrastinating on a project until the week (or night) before the deadline. Although I’m not gonna lie: I’ve been guilty of this before. But what I’m talking about here is how some classes – and professors- expect you to just crank out projects.
I quickly realized they were looking for QUANTITY over quality.
The syllabus was about filling a quota of projects per semester, rather than learning skills, technique, or even time management. During that experience, there wasn’t any feedback or advice on how to improve quality in the short time we had, or even good shortcuts. Even if it was badly done, I was graded on time rather than the quality of my work.
The sad thing is, bad project pacing goes beyond school. It very much applies to work as well. Some clients will have unrealistic expectations of high-quality work, done in an unrealistically short period of time. The only silver lining was that it gave me a preview of what a work environment CAN be.
It was very discouraging to submit artwork to the same professor week after week, while I watched them grade my (and my fellow students) works in under a minute, with a dead look in their eyes. The experience left a bad taste in my mouth and I honestly considered giving up on art altogether. Not just as a career, but entirely.
Nothing quite like bad managers – or teachers – to make me give up faster than I can say “I think I’m going through a bout of creative burnout.”
Speaking of bad teachers…
Death of Creativity 3: Bad teachers
I’m not talking about how they rank in ratemyprofessor.com at all.
Fun fact: It took me a good 2-maybe 3-years to realize the chili icon and the “hotness” scale were LITERALLY about how attractive they were or not?! My mind was in task-oriented mode while doing research, so my brain just glossed over the chili pepper icon.
Now, when I say bad teachers, I’m talking about their complete apathy – whether it was for their subject, students, or both.
They were there for a paycheck, and that just requires the bare minimum, so that’s exactly what they do. For some reason or another, they simply didn’t have enough in them to do a GOOD job. So showing up and going through the motions will have to do.
It’s hard enough for students to be excited for a class no matter how passionate you are about a subject. Because at the end of the day, it is still a class and there are standardized criteria to meet. It’s even harder when the professor pretty obviously doesn’t really care.
It’s hard enough for students to be excited for a class no matter how passionate you are about a subject. Because at the end of the day, it is still a class and there are standardized criteria to meet. It’s even harder when the professor pretty obviously doesn’t really care.
I’ve shown up to morning classes where our lecture portion was just us watching someone else’s YouTube tutorials for that day’s lesson. No, it was not the professor’s own YouTube channel channel or anything. Nor was it from Skillshare or any other platform that needs a paid subscription to view!
That professor may as well have slapped me in the face, instead of wasting my parents’ money. Those professors gave me nothing I couldn’t have learned on my own, FOR FREE!
Almost equally insulting, was that while that professor’s class didn’t start that early, it still sucked to attend. I could’ve instead been watching that free YouTube video at home, but instead, I PUT ON PANTS FOR THAT???*
*DISCLAIMER: This was pre-pandemic, where physical attendance (& denim, not sweatpants) was the norm.
Death of Creativity 4: Subjective Grading
I had one professor who was a pretty decent teacher with a lot of experience in the industry. But when some of us students compared our grades later on, there was a bit of, shall we say, discrepancy… Not a huge one, but it was enough to raise eyebrows and for some to start asking questions to the older students.
We found out that it was a semi-open secret that that professor played favorites. I got confirmation from older students that at least one professor was very light-handed giving “A” grades. Especially if the student’s style matches the professor’s personal style or preference.
I realized then, that at the end of the day, teaching is still a job. Even “good” teachers might end up giving someone a grade they don’t necessarily deserve for personal or political reasons.
Either way, heavily subjective grading can negatively taint the overall learning experience. At that point, art major burnout is almost negligible compared to the trust issues this inspires.
Bad subjective grading typically looks like a bad grade that doesn’t reflect how good the work is. But it can look like a good grade that isn’t fully earned because the professor’s job is linked to their pass rate.
I do acknowledge that yes, art is subjective. But I want to counter that grading should stay objective. Admittedly, it’s hard because it’s impossible to be truly objective.
Personally, the best way I’ve seen this handled is when a professor used the student’s first project as a baseline. Our subsequent projects were compared to previous ones, and how well I addressed previous criticisms (or not) to reflect what I have learned since.
Death of Creativity 5: Project Prompts
Specifically, I became too reliant on being given a prompt, that I forgot how to make my own.
This came as a surprise to me, and something I didn’t even realize for an embarrassingly long time. In my early days, I would still draw or create for fun but eventually, it dwindled down. I didn’t even realize there was a problem until towards the end, a couple of semesters away from graduating. I noticed I hardly – if ever- felt like drawing for fun lately.
After some thought, I realized the problem was that… I kind of forgot how to. I became used to the idea that there was someone else telling me what to do. Whether that was my professors, clients, or heck, even Inktober prompts.
After a while, I forgot how to come up with my own initiative, & lost inspiration.
If a friend or a situation popped up where there was a need, I could whip something up. But I forgot how to start artistic endeavors on my own. But that’s the other issue: I became used to being creative in response to a problem or a need, as opposed to doing so for fun or inspiration. Reacting instead of acting, I suppose you can say.
So after my last class in spring 2019, and doing my own wedding stationery & decorations, I just…stopped.
I stopped doing anything artistic or creative for myself. I had no desire, motivation, or inspiration left in me. That state lasted a disturbingly long time.
If that doesn’t scream creative burnout, I don’t know what does anymore.
Resurrection of Creativity +1: Meaningful praise
So how did I prevent creative burnout from taking over my life? Well, the solution is deceptively simple but devastatingly effective: It was being seen. More accurately, I was acknowledged for my efforts.
Don’t underestimate the impact that meaningful praise & critique, even if it’s just by 1 person who – and this is important! – has a significant connection to you.
In my 5 examples of creative burnout, I didn’t mention strangers’ opinions of my life choices. Which, if you’re an aspiring artist, you’ve already heard what some of those opinions are.
I know I’m outside the norm when I admit that (thankfully) I already had the mindset of not letting other people’s opinions on art as a career deter me.
But just as strangers’ naysaying didn’t bother me, their praise also didn’t really enrich my life in a significant way.
Sure, Instagram likes are nice, but they didn’t really add that much value to me, personally. Plus, some of those hype-people in the comments could just be bots, or worse: someone trying to sell you something. In all seriousness, having the acknowledgment – not to mention encouragement – of the people I personally valued was a lot more empowering.
To conclude,
Yes, the truth is there were a lot more than 5 times when I experienced creative burnout. But the important part is my creativity didn’t stay dead. That’s thanks to my support network who believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.
This isn’t to say that choosing to become an art major was a mistake or a lost cause.
But I wanted this to serve as a heads-up, so other aspiring artists can be more prepared than I was. Because there will be times of doubt and regret about our choices. There will be moments of being mentally and/or emotionally knocked down.
But the important thing is to not allow the moments of creative burnout to be the end of being an artist!
